Your Alternate Relation Narrative (YARN) is a method we use to remember the relations we have built between us.

We start off by sitting in a circle.

A ball of yarn is given to one of us. This person starts the conversation by throwing the yarn to someone else whom they want to remind of an experience or a shared memory.

This memory could be about something you did together: “Remember that time we went out for a drink and we came back two weeks later?” or it could capture a feeling “Whenever you enter the room I feel safe.”

Whoever receives the yarn responds to its sender

Based on the ‘yes…and’ technique, this person responds with an additional memory that builds on what was given to them. Or they draw up a conflicting element of the relation (yes…but)

“Yes, it was so wild, it reminded me of those games in which you swap a pen for a notebook and swap yourself up until you have a car. It really felt like we snowballed from one adventure to another.”

Or: “That’s funny because I never thought that you quite liked me.”

The person who received the yarn will now throw the yarn to someone else, strengthening another shared experience, relation or memory.

We will continue this exercise until everyone has received the yarn once and passed it on once.

Note that if we are a group with an even number of participants we will have to re-throw the yarn to some to ensure everyone gets to sediment two relations with someone else in the group.